Murat Kaya

Cumartesi, Temmuz 31, 2004


En buyuk icat nedir sorusuna cevap vermek cok zaman alir.
Ancak surtunme.... Iste hersey bu sihirli fiziksel olayda yatiyor.

Arabalar, muzik aletleri, sex, art of seduction, sanayi, makinalar, sevgi, silahlar, ucaklar, gemiler, hersey. Ama hersey.

Gitardan ses cikmasi icin bir surtunme faaliyeti gerekir.
Arabanin ilerlemesi surtunmeye dayalidir.

Akla gelebilecek daha baska bir cok sey surtunmeye dayalidir.

Tekerlegi bulan adam cok mu mutludur? Bilinmez.
Elektrigi bulan adam cok mu memnundur? Bilinmez.

Neden herhangi birseyi bulan bir kadin yok? O da bilinmez.

Belki de "Kadinlar" adli hikayeyi okumak gerekir. Hikayeyi kim mi yazdi? Simdilik bilinmez.

Surtunme, sen cok yasa.

Pazartesi, Temmuz 26, 2004

We're Our Own Worst Enemies

That title. I remember that on VH1. Noel Gallagher was saying that. This image has been always on my mind since i first saw that, probably in 1999. Like the music of  "Bands On The Run" on VH1, Fun Lovin' Criminals' Fun Lovin' Criminal.  And the stunning voice over while this music is playing at the background.

Those are some memories that i'll never forget. And even if they don't mean a thing for somebody else, i always remember those scenes on VH1. Like we never forgot Cat Deeley's excentric shows on MTV. That girl was cute. Been a long time i didn't see her on TV (maybe it's because i dont watch tv anymore)

I'll explain this with an other memory i always remember (and sometimes whisper by myself). There is a bridge sequence at Bon Jovi's "Keep The Faith" and Jon whispers a poem or something there and says ".... i don't like what i see no more.... sometimes i wish that i was blind..."

Also, the last track at Pearl Jam's Lost Dogs' second cd. Eddie Reads a poem (or tells a story). This one i adore. His voice is the best when reading too.
".........I swear, i died inside that night........." was the line.
I can listen to that song-poem-story whatever it is, again and again.

Hey Eddie, if you're reading this, please make a record just like Jim Morrison's American Prayer. Read those stories. It doesnt matter if you get bored to read with the same tone. All i need is to listen that magnificient voice reading.

Is it me, or i'm exaggerating that much.....

Never skip those moments.
Actually we're living for that moments
But we're skipping these great moments to get the bigger HOURS

Çarşamba, Temmuz 14, 2004

Gunun birinde bir "Kalp" yere dusmus....

Hafif yagmurlu bir gunun aksaminda adam evine donuyormus, caddede yanindan binlerce insan gecerken o yalnizca bir tanesinde takilmis... Kendisi gibi genc bir kadina takilmis gozu adamin... Genc kadini gorunce durmus. Kadin yanindan gecip gitmis. Hayatta bir defa yakalanacak bir firsatmis bu adam icin. Kadinin arkasindan seslenmis:
- Afedersiniz bayan,
Genc kadin, kendisine seslenen adami duymazdan gelememis. Donup:
- Bana mi seslendiniz? Diye sormus.
Genc adam kadina yaklasmis,
- Az once birsey dusurdunuz mu acaba?

Genc kadin elbette sasirmis biraz. Bir cantasina bakmis, bir yere bakmis sonra saskin bir ifade ile:
- Hayir, sanirim dusurmedim. Diyebilmis, merakli bakislarini gizleyemeyerek.

Genc adam devam etmis;
- Az once yanimdan gecerken yillar once kaybettigim kalbimin diger yarisinin sizde oldugunu farkettim. Bendekinin de size ait olma ihtimali var da....

Beklenmedik bu cumle karsisinda genc kadin hafifce gulumsemis ve "Olabilir" demis. "Kalbimi dusurdugum zaman hirsizlar tarafindan bulunmamasini dilemistim. Siz buldugunuza gore o halde olabilir" demis.

Cift birbirine yaklasip once el sikismislar, sonra da genc adam, kadinin kalbine kafasini sokarak ask yapmislar tum insanlarin ortasinda. Tabi herkes bu iki genci deli olarak nitelemis. Zira onlara gore ask icin baska birseyler yapiyor olmak gerekiyormus.

Adam, genc kadinin kalbinden kafasini cikardiktan sonra elini ceketinin cebine sokup "Bu size ait, sizdeki de bana" diyerek cebindeki kayip kalbi kadina vermis. Kadin da icindeki kalbi genc adama verip, adamin verdigini asil yerine yerlestirmis.

Hepimizin kalbi aslinda iki parcadir derler. Diger yarisinin sahibini bulmak icin bekler dururuz. Buluncaya kadar bazen hirsizlara kaptiririz, bazen yere dusururuz, bazen kendimizdekinin aslinda baskasina ait oldugunu unutup hor kullaniriz. Sonra bir gun gelir, nerede olursak olalim bizi bulur ve bizdekini alip, kendindekini bize verir.

Film orada biter, "SON" yazar, izleyenler dagilir ve sahnede bir tek "ikimiz" kaliriz. Asil film orada baslar bizim icin. Cunku herkes "SON" oncesini yasamaya alisiktir ve sahnede kalan iki kisiye karanliktan faydalanmak isteyen soyguncular saldirabilir. Izleyiciler icin biten film, oyuncular icin yeni basliyordur. Sahiplerini bulan iki kalp o karanlikta birlestirilmez ise, soyguncular kalplerden birini alip kacarlar.

En buyuk eziyet ise o zaman baslar.

Cumartesi, Temmuz 10, 2004

What's My Last Name? The victims of casting...... And..... "Changing" is not a good thing for everybody.

Tell me, how Joey Potter and Harry Potter are related to each other. what's the deal with this two?
Is Sharon Stone a relative of Oliver Stone, if it's not, why Stone? Why? Why not Bridgestone?
Is it possible for Lloyd Bridges to have a son named Jeff Bridges? What's the "bridges" between this dad and son?
We can observe that if your surname is Sheen, then your face will stay the same for the rest of your life. Never wrinkles, never gets old, never looses hair.
Why Sophia Coppola, Why Nicholas Cage? Why not Sophia Cage, why not Nicholas Coppola? Does Nicholas avoids of the surname, or Sophia is taking the advantage of the surname?

And can anybody tell me what the hell is Hugh Jackman is still into silly movies like Van Helsing, X-Men instead of keeping a career into movies like Someone Like You? I could have used some more Swordfish instead of seeing him in stupid future crappy dresses? Why he picks up those movies. Why we couldnt see him at movies like , About a boy, How to loose a guy in 10 days and some romantic comedies and some real story movies? I can easily say he could have been more "immortal" in cinema with those kinda characters instead of being dumb in "FANTASY" movies.

And Rupert Everett. Does Hollywood has a speacial talent on killing those guys? Or Rupert himself spends much more extra time picking up all the crappy projects to play? I bet he'll always remembered with his role at "My Best Friend's Wedding". Seriousness at movies does not really suit him.

There are more examples of that like these folks i've mentioned.

Why Joshua Jackson still couldnt manage to beat Mel Gibson? He's supposed to be the new Mel Gibson of new generation. Does this still the matter to his age? I think he's grown up enough.

Why we still keep seeing the same Matthew Broderick face? Is he a member of those Sheen family that their face has never grow old. Then why say "Hollywood needs new faces" and then keep casting the same faces of those Sheen-a-likes?

What the hell was that Troy? What in God's name the reason to shoot a movie like Mel Gibson did (i dont even wanna remember the title of the movie)? What's with the world? People are watching unrealistic stuff to entertain themselves. World is enough for an un-realistic place folks. Please , bring the classic and traditional cinema back.

Where is my Guy Richie? Where is my Snatch, where is my Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrel? And what the hell is Robinson Crusoe stories with you Guy?

Why is they mad at Kevin Spacey when he does the same thing. He's doing the best everytime. Why change? Does people ask Jim Carrey to stop doing the same? NO. We want them all the same everytime. It's bad for some people to change. Admit it. Changing is not always good. Except for Madonna. Maddy, please kiss George Michael this time at your next show. If he refuses, then go kiss Michael Jackson for God's sake. And Tarantino. Never change buddy, never change. Change has to become your "primal fear". Don't listen to them.

Pazartesi, Temmuz 05, 2004

Web Site Found. Waiting For Reply


I don't believe in internet explorer anymore. I've written a huge blog here, and a fucking explorer error made it dissapear. Whom can i blame?

And it's true that i don't remember what i had written. I was taking it for granted that blogger would save it when a problem occurs. But no. So. Be careful mr. kaya.

It's time to watch "Barefoot in the park" and then go to bed.

Web site is found, waiting for reply. Bullshit!

Pazar, Temmuz 04, 2004

What's my name

Of course not everybody realised that most of the singers penetrated the music industry by repeating their own names at their debut singles. Example? The first one i can recall is Snoop Doggy Dog. While we were enjoying the penetration of MTV in Turkish television history, we were also familiar with Snoop Doggy Dog's "What's my name" song (absolutely censored) By the time he was actually asking "What's My motherfucker name?" and replying to his own question by "Snoop Doggy Dooooooog".

Consider the expression "penetration of MTV in Turkish television history" and the verb "enjoying" at the same time. It occured accidentally but in a second glance, i think it was the best orgasm that this generation ever had. First turkish private tv channel was on air and they were also trying to broadcast MTV in some points of turkey'e elite cities. Obviously, Istanbul is the first place in Turkey that might easily be called "Elite". They tried to give life to turkish youngsters by viewing their music videos on tv's. But it turned out to be making a huge market of turkey's own popular music industry. Soon we started to hear different singer's voices on our radios in turkey. It was the birth of a nation's musical taste. I'm always happy to pick up only the right sound back then. During that period of time, i just bought a Tarkan albume. Yes. The journey started in 1992 with a very primitive music video style. I bet Tarkan, himself is prohibiting all those videos made during his debut albume. Kind of funny stuff. But those were the milestones of a big career in music industry. At least Turkish music industry achieved finding out a talent called Tarkan.
Turning back to the main point of my blog: No. He didn't sing "What's my name?" at his debut single nor any other singles he made back at those times.

Years passed and then a guy called Eminem busted out. His first song was "What? My name is. Slim Shady." and blow all the musical charts away. Numero uno: Eminem. Debut theme:My name is Slim Shady (or M&M as you may call).

Robbie Williams. An English musical talent of late 90's and early 2000's. Like he complains about girls who are not having sex with him in U.S. at Tonight Show with Jay Leno he planned on penetrating U.S. music industry with an album called "Ego Has Landed". Watching the records of his first U.S. concert in a very little stage (comparing to the ones he has in Britain) he was rapping "My name is, WHAT?, my name is Robbie Williams".

Is there a magic in debutting by asking "What's my name?". Or like Take That's song which Robbie Williams' used to be the lead vocal back in 1991 "Could it be magic?" is just a coincidence for this sentence?

I bet Tarkan should have to do the same in European music markets. Then he could achieve more than he already had in Europe. If i was a friend of his (Tarkan) i would have shout those coincidences at him and force him to make a debut called "My name is Tarkan" The lyrics would be like that:
"My name is Tarkan,
i came here to rock,
Not the beautiful girls,
i want the ugly duck"

Some expressions make great sense when you translate them directly into other languages. Once i've translated Bryan Adams' "Only thing looks good on me is you" and i made it a great turkish song by translating the original lyrics one-by-one to Turkish.

I can post you that if you want to read. You can reach murat @ this post office requires no envelopes and no stamps and no boring staff.

Cumartesi, Temmuz 03, 2004

Cumle A ile baslar, Z ile biter. (Neden yazildigi belli olmayan bir yazi)

Aksam masami toparlarken, kucuk not kagitlarindan birine gozum takildi. Cope atmadan once okudum. Kagit su anda cop kutusunda, ancak cumle halen aklimda. Tek bir ozdeyis yaziyor kagitta:
"Kap degisince, yemegin tadi degisir-Anadolu deyisi"

Tipki yolda yanimizdan gecip giden, belki de hayatimiz boyunca bir daha goremeyecegimiz, gozumuze o an diger insanlardan cok farkli gorunen hos bir kizin (ya da kizlar icin bir erkegin) gecip gitmesine ragmen aklimizda kalan goruntusu gibi bu cumleyi olcup tartmakla mesgul kafam. Ilk bloglarimdan birinde de yazmistim, dikkatimden hicbir zaman kusku duymadim ama hep kafamdaki dusunceleri bir turlu kontrol edememisimdir. Herhangi bir sey yazarken dikkatim dagilmaya cok musaittir. Herhangi bir sey anlatirken aklima gelen yeni bir fikir o an anlattigim seyi tamamen degistirebilir. Cogu seyi yazarken kesfettigim gibi cogu seyi de konusurken aklima gelen yeni fikirlerle beslemeyi adet edindim. Istemeden yapiyorum bunu, elimde olmuyor. Ama sonuclarindan (bencilce) memnunum. Tamamen kendim icin. En kotusu, toplantilarda fikrimi aciklarken oluyor:
"Burada sekreteri geri plana ceksem mi acaba? Aaa sekreteri dedim de, secretary ile ayni sekilde soyleniyor. -Ne dedin? -Secretary -Kimin sekreteri? -Kimsenin, ingilizce secretary. -Haa anladim." gibi.

"Sadelik, karmasadan ortaya cikar" sozunu duydugumda beynim otomatik olarak bu cumleyi kabullendi herhalde. Kafasi karmakarisik birisinin, sapsade bir anlatima sahip olmasi tesaduf ya da yetenek olamaz herhalde. Gerci "ifade" bir yetenek midir, ondan da pek emin degilim. Peki karmakarisik bir anlatima sahip olanlar sade bir beyine mi sahiptir?
Emin degilim.
Soyle dusunelim. "Her film bir roman olabilir. Ama her roman bir film olamaz." Cok keskin ve burnu havada bir cumle ile tek tarafli dogrulari dusunebiliriz. Her karmasik kafaya sahip insanin ifadesi sade olabilir, ama her sade kafalinin ifadesi karmasik olmaz"

Ne guzel. Hic bir sonucu olmayan, hic bir seyden emin olmayan bir yazi daha. Neyden tam olarak eminiz ki hayatta hic olmazsa bir kac seyden emin olalim? Gercekten ya, kim-neyden emin bilen var mi?

Yine ayni sey oldu iste. "Kap degisince yemegin tadi degisir" cumlesini okudugumda aklima bunlardan hicbiri gelmemisti, anlatmayi hedefledigim sey bambaska birseydi. Yazarken konu dagildi ve nerelere geldim.

Bunu da "cumleye A ile baslayip B ile devam etmeyi hedeflerken Z'ye kadar gidip bir kere bile B kullanmamak" yaklasimi olarak adlandiriyorum. Bu ismi ben koydum. Yaklasim adinin bu kadar uzun olmasindan belli zaten.

Sonuc olarak yukarida yaptigim giris sirasinda anlatmak istedigim hicbirseyi anlatamadim. Cumleler dondu dolasti "yazarken aklima gelenler"e gitti. Bunu her zaman yasadigim icin savunmam da hazir:
"Ben, her yazarin kafasinda olusan hikayeyi kagida aktarirken ne kadar aci cektigini tahmin edebiliyorum. Cunku hicbir zaman, kagida doktuklerin kafandakinin aynisi olmuyor. Halbuki o parmaklari yoneten guc, zihninde o cumleleri ilk olarak pespese dizdigin sahanlik. Fakat o sahanlikta ruzgar tum kelimeleri ucusturuyor. Kafandaki cumle "Kapidan iceri girdim" iken kagida doktugunde "Odaya kapi tarafindan giris yaptim" oluyor. Cok can sikici birsey aslinda. Defalarca bir cumleyi yazip durmak kadar da can sikici birsey yoktur herhalde. Kendini ceza yemis bart simpson gibi ayni cumleyi defalarca tahtaya yaziyormus gibi hissetmekten baska zevkli bir yani yok. Bir hikaye yazmak icin oturup kendini bir romanin ilk yuzyirmi sayfasini yazmisken bulmak gibi kafa karistirici. Hele son cumleyi yazip "print"e bastiktan sonra akla gelip de "Hassiktiiiir sunu unuttum" demek kadar gicik edici bir his olamaz (olabilir. Baskiya gonderdigin kitapta yapmayi sonradan aklina getirdigin degisiklik cumleleri). Karatahtaya, tirnaklarini surterek gicik bir ses cikaran birisi bile bu kadar rahatsiz edemez insani. Iste bu yuzden insan kendi yazdigini o kadar da cok sevemiyor. Tipini hayal edip, kafanda hareketlerini bile tasarladigin kendi cocugunun bambaska bir tip ve cok farkli bir davranis kalibi sergilemesi gibi oluyor. Biraz gicik oluyorsun ama insanlar aklindaki cocugun o olmadigini bilmiyor iste. Onlar cocugu O halde goruyor ve severlerse O'nu seviyorlar. Senin kafandakini degil yani. Okuyup da "Boooggk bu ne ya?" dedigimiz bazi romanlarin, yazarin kafasindaki hali ile cok daha guzel olacagini dusunuyorum hep. Ama cogu zaman da aslinda hayal ettigin cocugun degil de, ortaya cikan cocugun tipi ve davranislarini kafandakinden daha da cok seviyorsun. Eh o zaman da gururla "Ben-im" diyorsun. O daha buyuk bir zevk."

Savunmam dedigim kisim da "yazarken" cikti. Dusuncelerimin, kelimelere dokulmus hali. Evet, kafamdaki cocuk daha farkliydi, bu biraz siska geldi gozume.

Perşembe, Temmuz 01, 2004

Little By Little

Last year when i first picked Oasis' "heathenchemistry" album i was whispering the Hindu Times "Cause God gimme soul and all rock n roll babe" imagining how many times i'm gonna listen to that song at the very first day i bought the CD.
But then an other song (three actually) grabbed my attention. One; Little by little, Two; She is love, Three: Force of nature.
No matter i was playing "Hung in a Bad Place" on my cd while i was walking to my master classes, "probably all in mind" was "Little By Little". That song refreshed my belief everytime i listen to Noel's magnificient performance just like i felt the same while listening to "She is Love". That smooth melody, and smoother Noel vocals made me feel better all the time.

Yes, it's right that i'm still listening to that album and writing down these lines while feeling blue.

All through last year (and still) i kept believing in that song. I played it again and again. And still i'm listening to it. It's just the exact refreshing feelings that i first felt about that song.

"We the people fight for our existence
We don't claim to be perfect
But we're free
We dream our dreams alone
With no resistance
Fading like the stars we wish to be"

"True perfection has to be imperfect" this is the line.

"Cos little by little
We gave you everything
You ever dreamed of
Little by little
The wheels of your life
Have slowly fallen off
Little by little
You have to give it all in all your life
And all the time I just ask myself why
You're really here"

Life is coming out little by little. And it makes us ignore the fact that we could be happy just by ourselves. Family, friends, lovers all are gonna leave us alone in the end. They're not gonna burry us with anyone. We'll be buried alone. So? What's the point of being sad by others?

I'm sad eversince yesterday. It's like there is an external force is sucking all my energy out, and grabbing my happiness away.

I'll listen to Oasis. Again and again. For the rest of my life. I know it'll give me that refreshing feel until the day i die cos the ones which kept me fresh while i was a kid are still keeping me fresh.

Just Like Duran Duran's line on "Out of My Mind" at Saint Soundtrack.
"Without you , what's left to believe in?"

Yeah, "Without music, what's left to believe in?"